A Dog Named Sex
Everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Boy. I call mine Sex.
When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I
would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one, too!" Then
I
said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was 9 years
old." He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
I
told the hotel clerk that I want a room for my wife and me and a special
room for Sex. He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as
you
pay you bill we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem
to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny,
I
have the same problem."
One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but the dog ran away. Another
contestant asked me why I was looking disappointed. I told him I had
planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own
tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex
on
TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it's no big deal
any more."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of
the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The
judge said, "This courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case,
please." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me.
He said
that's not unusual.
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for
him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley
at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex.
My
case comes by Friday.
